This is the time of year I find difficult. I have said this on many occasions. It’s my birthday month and I always miss my own mum around that time but it is usually Mother’s Day quite soon after my birthday.
It’s a day I can never let go unmarked in my blog. It’s the time of year where you might catch me a little teary.
This year is my first ever Mother’s Day to living biological children. I can’t shout it enough what a privilege it is to be called mum (in whatever form that comes – biological, step, non biological and so on).
With all the build up to the day I can’t help but feel the luckiest woman in the world to have brought Layla and Kayden home from the hospital.
I guess though as we went through so much to be blessed with them, my heart aches too. It aches for all the want to be mum’s, the tried to conceive for so long, the IVF warriors that inject and take on so much to be called mum.
The mums that foster, the mum’s that adopt or go through these processes. The ones that don’t have their mum on this day. The children in systems through no choice of their own. The fathers who play the role of mum due to loss or other significant reasons.
But ultimately my heart breaks for the mums of angels. The mums who know there should be another place seating at the table. The mums who nursery remained bare. The mums who don’t get that cuddle that they should have. The mums that should have watched their children grow.
This year I feel so honoured to be called mum by the sweetest, tiniest voices. Doubly blessed with that word that leaves their little mouths.
These are the words I never got to hear Kora and Ava say. That title is the one that society often hasn’t labelled me with till now.
I will never be able to have a Mother’s Day without thinking of our losses and my friends that have lost too. It will always be a more sensitive day to me and I will always be more aware of just how this one day can be the most challenging for some.
However this year I will absolutely raise a glass for our mums and our beautiful girls that aren’t here but ultimately I will cuddle and kiss my beautiful children (biological and non biological) that little harder.
I have never known a love any greater than that of a child that loves you back in ways I never knew were possible. I will wear the title of mum very proudly not just on that one day but every single day because it is an absolute honour to blessed with what we have!
Lots of love to all those who find the day so challenging and I know not everyone gets their rainbow and some face a day that will never be the same again because of their situation or loss. I hope this Mother’s Day is as kind to you as possible. X
Stars in the Sky 