Footprints

We are going on holiday soon and I’m so excited to take some time off and have some real quality family time together.

I feel so privileged to be able to build these moments and memories with Layla & Kayden. It really is what dreams are made of to look back in the sand and see their little footprints!

Everyday I’m honoured to experience something new and exciting with them as they grow and develop. It’s exciting, thrilling, challenging and exhausting. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My heartstrings are still pulled when thoughts of Kora and Ava run through my mind. They would be five this year! They would have been starting school.

Neil and I didn’t really tell anyone but recently we fell pregnant for the sixth time and miscarried at 5-6 weeks.

We didn’t really know we were pregnant until a few days before we miscarried. It was a shock to say the least at my age with our chances of falling pregnant. However there was that pink line staring us in the face!

I expected to lose as the line was faint and I just didn’t feel right however it never stops you planning and talking about it though. There is always the hope of life.

It’s strange as this miscarriage I just reflected on how truly blessed I am to have our beautiful twins here in our arms and we just hugged them a little tighter and cherished the love returned! That’s not to say that I didn’t shed tears for the loss.

All the thoughts, tears, laughter and worry goes back to the start to our Kora and Ava. They gave us hope! They are the reason we persevered! They make us appreciate and love even harder then humanly possible our Layla & Kayden!

Every loss we have suffered before and after our twins has given us something whether it’s determination, resilience, hope or support from each other.

My heart sings when they clasp my hand to take me to a toy. There is not a feeling in the world quite like the innocent love of your child. The joy to watch them grow and develop and the pure love when you get those wet kisses and hugs!

So Kora and Ava, we not be able to make memories with you and we may never see your footprints in the sand but they are permanently etched into our hearts.