I never thought I would be writing another blog about pregnancy or loss ever again but here I am! I’m writing this to give others hope and of course to raise awareness as always. When Neil and I were on holiday with the twins he kept asking me to take a pregnancy test. I wasContinue reading “45 years old and pregnant”
Category Archives: pregnancy loss
Fear
I’m not sure if my fears and anxieties are similar to any other parent or if they are more extreme from our loses before Layla and Kayden. I remember when they were first born and we brought them home the health visitor completed a questionnaire around anxiety and I was off the scale. She recommendedContinue reading “Fear”
The little things!
Lately after some family disagreements I have started to review and analyse what is important and why! We are very blessed as a family. We both work very hard and this enables us to take our family on many holidays. It has always been important to me to give my family the experiences that IContinue reading “The little things!”
Dates!
Neil is useless at remembering dates! He has always been useless at remembering and it’s something I struggle with as I don’t think it’s an excuse to NOT remember those really important anniversaries. However, it is something I’m learning to accept. It’s a tough thing to come to terms with as my mind battles withContinue reading “Dates!”
Lost in love
6 years ago today I delivered you both in the hospital. We knew you were dead and it had been an agonising 10 days before we were there in the delivery suite. I had never given birth before so I wasn’t sure what to expect but what I remember the most to this day isContinue reading “Lost in love”
A little harder
Each year that passes this gets a little harder! Six years ago today we were told the words…”I’m sorry, there are no heartbeats”. Sometimes I think about reading my first few blogs again to remind myself of specific details. It’s a horrible feeling as I curse myself that I can’t remember every detail anymore. TheContinue reading “A little harder”
Life is busy!
The day I became mum was the day it was not all about me. Being mum has taught me that I am not the important person and my needs although still need to be met are not the be all and end all. Instead my beautiful dependents are always the priority. I don’t know whatContinue reading “Life is busy!”
The parent I thought I would be!
I remember when Neil and I were trying for babies and were pregnant again with Layla and Kayden we said we didn’t want to be those parents that allowed their children in their bed until they were four years old! It’s funny when you are an expectant parent and you have all these grand plansContinue reading “The parent I thought I would be!”
No one pushes my buttons like her…
I haven’t written for a while and it’s not because I am in a blissful bubble of parenting but quite the opposite. I don’t know whether losing babies makes your guilt worse when you have been fortunate enough to eventually bring home what you always wanted. I sometimes wonder if I am even tougher onContinue reading “No one pushes my buttons like her…”
Mother’s Day 🩵
I can’t quite believe how quickly it comes around! A day I find so difficult yet so honoured to mark. I feel heartbroken that I can’t celebrate this day with my own mother even nearly 10 years on. Nearly 10 years of grief! Time most definitely hasn’t healed but it has numbed the rawness andContinue reading “Mother’s Day 🩵”
Stars in the Sky 