Pregnant 2-3 weeks! This is the result we normally want to see on the test. The amount of times I have peed on a stick and we have waited with baited breath to see the result. What many don’t realise is that when you miscarry or have a pregnancy loss, it takes time for theContinue reading “Again we wait…”
Category Archives: pregnancy loss
Will you still walk with me?
It is very hard for anyone to truly walk in someone else’s shoes. A distant friend of mine contacted me this week to share her experience and thank me for finding the strength to write mine down. It touched me deeply and got me thinking. Our experiences are very different and I will never fullyContinue reading “Will you still walk with me?”
Bitter pill continued…
On Saturday I ended up back at the hospital on my own. The medical management of our miscarriage appeared not to have worked. I had been struggling the days before with people who contacted me with kindness and well intentioned messages or meanings. However sometimes people say or suggest something without truly understanding the situationContinue reading “Bitter pill continued…”
A Dad Like No other!
It’s Father’s Day and I wanted to take time out to acknowledge my husband, a dad to his beautiful 21 year old daughter Amy, a foster father to Alissa and a father to 6 angels. I have learnt through our fertility journey just how difficult it is for the man. I believe as a societyContinue reading “A Dad Like No other!”
Decisions, decisions.
It wasn’t a pill to swallow and apparently we still had more to learn about pregnancy loss even after everything we have been through and even though this was our fourth loss. Getting ready to go to hospital everything seemed surreal. I chose a summer dress that I thought to myself I will probably neverContinue reading “Decisions, decisions.”
A bitter pill to swallow
It’s 4am in the morning and I had been laying awake in bed with sudden overwhelming bursts of grief and tears. I’m going into hospital today to take a pill to end our pregnancy. We had an 8 week scan yesterday and it showed our fears that the baby’s heart had stopped. We had onlyContinue reading “A bitter pill to swallow”
The voice in my head.
I have never been an anxious person on the whole. I have the same small anxieties and worries as others but I would say I’m not a overly anxious person. That was until we lost our children. As a sign language interpreter for the Deaf, I was given a sign name (a sign to useContinue reading “The voice in my head.”
I don’t know how to live in your world.
I know from various online and face to face groups that what I am feeling is ‘normal’. Today I am struggling. I don’t know if it’s me and my expectations. I don’t know if I’m too sensitive. I don’t know if it’s just grief. Today my tears just keep coming. I don’t know if it’sContinue reading “I don’t know how to live in your world.”
I will never stop loving you
I sit here struggling with my emotions today. Many I can’t or don’t want to express publicly at the moment. I struggle because we as a society aren’t very good with approaching pregnancy loss. It’s very British culture to keep that stiff upper lip or to make do and carry on. We have over theContinue reading “I will never stop loving you”
Anniversary dates
It’s 2 years since I was pregnant with Kora and Ava. I can’t quite compute this. In one way it feels like longer with everything Neil and I have faced in those years but it also seems to have suddenly arrived. We took the test on the 16th May 2018. I find, I always struggleContinue reading “Anniversary dates”
Stars in the Sky 