Death Certificate

Another blogger that writes about baby loss awareness that I follow, posted about the fact that her babies death certificate shouldn’t be something she owns. I absolutely understand that this is definitely not the paperwork any parent would wish to own especially the process of going to a registry office to have it completed whilstContinue reading “Death Certificate”

Are they good babies?

It’s another question that I have been asked on so many occasions since bringing the twins home. Are they good babies? I am assuming the person asking is referring to how the babies are sleeping, whether they cry much or fuss about everything. Basically are they easy babies? I have never felt comfortable with thisContinue reading “Are they good babies?”

Overwhelming Emotions

After our first Christmas when we enter the dark days and nights of January and life becomes a little less hectic, there is time to reflect. Christmas didn’t go as I had imagined in my head and wasn’t as special as I had anticipated due to numerous reasons. However there were still some magical momentsContinue reading “Overwhelming Emotions”

Mixed emotions

Someone I know has recently had MCMA identical twin girls. I am genuinely happy for her and her partner for getting through the whole pregnancy and bringing home their bundle of joys. It became apparent that the hospital’s protocol and procedures has changed around MCMA twins (shortly after our pregnancy) and her treatment was differentContinue reading “Mixed emotions”

DNA

A friend visited our home the other day and whilst looking at Kayden she said how much he looked like Neil and asked jokingly if there was any of my DNA in him. She then went onto say that I just housed him for 9 months. Firstly I would like to state that this friendContinue reading “DNA”

Tears, patience, hope and love

Reflection

I have always believed vanity to mean a person that has an excessive pride or admiration of their own appearance or achievements. According to the above definition I wouldn’t consider myself a vain person but I know that I care about my appearance. I will take time to plan an outfit. I obsessively buy clothesContinue reading “Reflection”

The phone call

Two weeks ago I took Kayden to his hospital appointment. It was a check up in relation to his jitters/movements. On the very first appointment they had taken his bloods and wrote to us to say his neutrophils were low but that is normal in babies aged 5-8 weeks. He was 6 weeks old atContinue reading “The phone call”

Rookie mistake

A rookie mistake (a basic mistake that a person with no experience might make). I have often written about the fact that I have been a mother for many years however being a mum to babies is new to me. It’s terrifying that I am making mistakes on these precious twins. It’s devastating that IContinue reading “Rookie mistake”

Guilt vs exhaustion

I’m unsure if I’m exhausted or burdened due to guilt or maybe I’m exhausted because of the guilt and it’s burden that I feel everyday. I wasn’t sure whether to even write this blog due to the guilt that I feel when I think all of the thoughts in my own head before I evenContinue reading “Guilt vs exhaustion”