A very British question that is often asked frequently and as part of our everyday general conversation and greetings. It is a question that has always bothered me particularly with our British culture of having a stiff upper lip (showing fortitude and stoicism in the face of adversity, or exercising great self-restraint in the expressionContinue reading “Are you ok?”
Tag Archives: death
Again we wait…
Pregnant 2-3 weeks! This is the result we normally want to see on the test. The amount of times I have peed on a stick and we have waited with baited breath to see the result. What many don’t realise is that when you miscarry or have a pregnancy loss, it takes time for theContinue reading “Again we wait…”
Will you still walk with me?
It is very hard for anyone to truly walk in someone else’s shoes. A distant friend of mine contacted me this week to share her experience and thank me for finding the strength to write mine down. It touched me deeply and got me thinking. Our experiences are very different and I will never fullyContinue reading “Will you still walk with me?”
Bitter pill continued…
On Saturday I ended up back at the hospital on my own. The medical management of our miscarriage appeared not to have worked. I had been struggling the days before with people who contacted me with kindness and well intentioned messages or meanings. However sometimes people say or suggest something without truly understanding the situationContinue reading “Bitter pill continued…”
A bitter pill to swallow
It’s 4am in the morning and I had been laying awake in bed with sudden overwhelming bursts of grief and tears. I’m going into hospital today to take a pill to end our pregnancy. We had an 8 week scan yesterday and it showed our fears that the baby’s heart had stopped. We had onlyContinue reading “A bitter pill to swallow”
The voice in my head.
I have never been an anxious person on the whole. I have the same small anxieties and worries as others but I would say I’m not a overly anxious person. That was until we lost our children. As a sign language interpreter for the Deaf, I was given a sign name (a sign to useContinue reading “The voice in my head.”
I don’t know how to live in your world.
I know from various online and face to face groups that what I am feeling is ‘normal’. Today I am struggling. I don’t know if it’s me and my expectations. I don’t know if I’m too sensitive. I don’t know if it’s just grief. Today my tears just keep coming. I don’t know if it’sContinue reading “I don’t know how to live in your world.”
Anniversary dates
It’s 2 years since I was pregnant with Kora and Ava. I can’t quite compute this. In one way it feels like longer with everything Neil and I have faced in those years but it also seems to have suddenly arrived. We took the test on the 16th May 2018. I find, I always struggleContinue reading “Anniversary dates”
Life goes on…
After losing Kora and Ava I found that I walked in a world that I no longer recognised. For us our world had coming crashing down and time had stood still. Yet everywhere we looked life went on. It felt so surreal to me. We had lost our babies and were preparing to cremate themContinue reading “Life goes on…”
They were dead inside!
I mentioned in another blog that I was 1 in 60,000 women that induction of labour didn’t work. I was in hospital for 10 days in total with my babies still in my womb. My bump was obviously there for all to see but it was only Neil and I that knew our babies wereContinue reading “They were dead inside!”
Stars in the Sky 