My last blog I wrote about how Neil and I were starting to dare to dream. We have been looking into extending or moving as we simply don’t have enough space for twins, Amy (step daughter) and Alissa (foster daughter). We were anxious about making these plans as we know that no pregnancy has anyContinue reading “Harsh Reality”
Tag Archives: heartbeat
Dare to Dream
We had another scan yesterday. We will be 10 weeks pregnant this Friday. For us this time has moved so slowly and has been filled with anxiety. I was left feeling very emotional and couldn’t stop crying for hours. I had built my anxiety level to such a heightened state with fear that the IVFContinue reading “Dare to Dream”
Baby Loss Awareness
Grief has no timescale. If you are blessed enough to have gone through life without being affected by the loss of a loved one then hold onto that dearly. However the reality is that most of us have experienced the loss of a loved one. This November it is 6 years since my mum passedContinue reading “Baby Loss Awareness”
A Prison Sentence
I was talking to a very good friend on the phone the other day and he referred to my pregnancy as a prison sentence. I laughed as I knew what he meant. He said he feels like he is actually marking off the days on the wall. Of course most people would not refer toContinue reading “A Prison Sentence”
Self preservation.
I’m already madly in love with both of the babies that are growing inside me. This frightens me as I know how hard the potential fall can be! Im definitely not enjoying the pregnancy but my self preservation is slipping as each day passes. My hope grows as much as my love! I have neverContinue reading “Self preservation.”
Blood!
Yesterday I had a cramp on my right side, I wasn’t too bothered as I know to expect some cramps whilst the uterus adjusts to having not just one baby but two. However when I added the cramp to the worry that my pregnancy hormones were either subduing or I was getting more used toContinue reading “Blood!”
Two blueberries!
We are seven weeks pregnant today and our babies should be the size of a blueberry. It’s a strange concept because we are in fact seven weeks but how do we know that they are still growing? The anxiety is horrendous. It’s all well and good for people to remind us to relax and notContinue reading “Two blueberries!”
We are scared!
We had our 6 week scan which we mentioned and stated that we were not to worry if we didn’t see any heartbeats. This is because you can see them potentially from 6 weeks however sometimes you can’t see them till a little later. We are pleased to say that on exactly 6 weeks weContinue reading “We are scared!”
In his head
I have asked Neil to write something for this blog so I could show a mans perspective around pregnancy loss, IVF and trying to conceive. However he is not very forthcoming with the goods! Believe it or not he is actually very good at expressing his feeling when he puts pen to paper. He wroteContinue reading “In his head”
Human
Grieving whilst on hormone drugs and planning for the future is very difficult and conflicting. Yesterday (9th August) was two years since Neil and I went for another scan and were told that Kora and Ava had no heartbeats. Since then we have lost many more babies and this seems to have added to myContinue reading “Human”
Stars in the Sky 