The twins were 5 months old yesterday. I can’t quite believe that time has passed already. That’s roughly 152 days! Of which I would say I have absolutely enjoyed and fully appreciated 150 of those days! I think most Mums or Dads would feel guilty for saying that and I am really hard on myselfContinue reading “Mummy struggles”
Tag Archives: lockdown
Blood and Tears
I am writing this blog from the hospital. I had to come here yesterday and stay the night. I had got out of the bath and while putting my nightie on and applying the bio oil, I felt something fall out of my vagina. To my horror there was blood on the carpet. In aContinue reading “Blood and Tears”
On the fence
We had another scan and this time the babies measured 14 weeks. This takes us back to the original dates we were given by the IVF clinic. We paid for this private scan as we were concerned about waiting till 16 weeks. We have also had lots of stress in relation to the house andContinue reading “On the fence”
Like waiting for a bus!
We’ve all been there, stood at a bus stop waiting for what feels like an eternity for a bus. I’ve found our fertility journey very much like waiting for the bus. I’ve mentioned in previous posts that the waiting is what can be so difficult especially when you have no control over it. Unlike waitingContinue reading “Like waiting for a bus!”
Pin Cushion
I have been to hospital three more times. We thought the miscarriage had come to an end but I had a sudden loss of considerable amount of blood following some abdominal pains. Unexplained and unexpected. I only bent over and that’s when it happened. I am not asking for sympathy and I write about theContinue reading “Pin Cushion”
Are you ok?
A very British question that is often asked frequently and as part of our everyday general conversation and greetings. It is a question that has always bothered me particularly with our British culture of having a stiff upper lip (showing fortitude and stoicism in the face of adversity, or exercising great self-restraint in the expressionContinue reading “Are you ok?”
Decisions, decisions.
It wasn’t a pill to swallow and apparently we still had more to learn about pregnancy loss even after everything we have been through and even though this was our fourth loss. Getting ready to go to hospital everything seemed surreal. I chose a summer dress that I thought to myself I will probably neverContinue reading “Decisions, decisions.”
A bitter pill to swallow
It’s 4am in the morning and I had been laying awake in bed with sudden overwhelming bursts of grief and tears. I’m going into hospital today to take a pill to end our pregnancy. We had an 8 week scan yesterday and it showed our fears that the baby’s heart had stopped. We had onlyContinue reading “A bitter pill to swallow”
I don’t know how to live in your world.
I know from various online and face to face groups that what I am feeling is ‘normal’. Today I am struggling. I don’t know if it’s me and my expectations. I don’t know if I’m too sensitive. I don’t know if it’s just grief. Today my tears just keep coming. I don’t know if it’sContinue reading “I don’t know how to live in your world.”
Anniversary dates
It’s 2 years since I was pregnant with Kora and Ava. I can’t quite compute this. In one way it feels like longer with everything Neil and I have faced in those years but it also seems to have suddenly arrived. We took the test on the 16th May 2018. I find, I always struggleContinue reading “Anniversary dates”
Stars in the Sky 