Second Trimester

It has been a difficult week emotionally. I’m not sure if it’s my hormones at this stage or if it’s the fact the anniversary of my mum passing is fast approaching. I’m also very mindful that Kora and Ava passed in the second trimester. I don’t feel safe that we have reached the 13th week,Continue reading “Second Trimester”

A Pain Like No Other

I have been touched and saddened by the recent revelation from Chrissy Teigen and John Legend that they delivered their baby Jack sleeping. If you are unaware Chrissy Teigen posted photographs on Instagram which captured their delivery of their baby. When looking at the photos you can see the grief and heartache. It is rawContinue reading “A Pain Like No Other”

Twelve weeks

It’s official we have reached twelve weeks. Interestingly I don’t feel relieved or safe. I am too aware that we lost Kora and Ava in the second trimester and that there are no guarantees in a pregnancy. This past week has been very stressful due to external factors. I was so stressed it blocked allContinue reading “Twelve weeks”

Harsh Reality

My last blog I wrote about how Neil and I were starting to dare to dream. We have been looking into extending or moving as we simply don’t have enough space for twins, Amy (step daughter) and Alissa (foster daughter). We were anxious about making these plans as we know that no pregnancy has anyContinue reading “Harsh Reality”

Baby Loss Awareness

Grief has no timescale. If you are blessed enough to have gone through life without being affected by the loss of a loved one then hold onto that dearly. However the reality is that most of us have experienced the loss of a loved one. This November it is 6 years since my mum passedContinue reading “Baby Loss Awareness”

Self preservation.

I’m already madly in love with both of the babies that are growing inside me. This frightens me as I know how hard the potential fall can be! Im definitely not enjoying the pregnancy but my self preservation is slipping as each day passes. My hope grows as much as my love! I have neverContinue reading “Self preservation.”

Blood!

Yesterday I had a cramp on my right side, I wasn’t too bothered as I know to expect some cramps whilst the uterus adjusts to having not just one baby but two. However when I added the cramp to the worry that my pregnancy hormones were either subduing or I was getting more used toContinue reading “Blood!”

Two blueberries!

We are seven weeks pregnant today and our babies should be the size of a blueberry. It’s a strange concept because we are in fact seven weeks but how do we know that they are still growing? The anxiety is horrendous. It’s all well and good for people to remind us to relax and notContinue reading “Two blueberries!”

A moment in my head

It has to be a moment in my head as too much longer you would all want to abandon ship especially during the two week wait. We have all probably thought at some point that we are glad that no one can see into our head as thoughts run wild so I’m going to beContinue reading “A moment in my head”

In his head

I have asked Neil to write something for this blog so I could show a mans perspective around pregnancy loss, IVF and trying to conceive. However he is not very forthcoming with the goods! Believe it or not he is actually very good at expressing his feeling when he puts pen to paper. He wroteContinue reading “In his head”