I’m already madly in love with both of the babies that are growing inside me. This frightens me as I know how hard the potential fall can be! Im definitely not enjoying the pregnancy but my self preservation is slipping as each day passes. My hope grows as much as my love! I have neverContinue reading “Self preservation.”
Tag Archives: pregnancy loss
Blood!
Yesterday I had a cramp on my right side, I wasn’t too bothered as I know to expect some cramps whilst the uterus adjusts to having not just one baby but two. However when I added the cramp to the worry that my pregnancy hormones were either subduing or I was getting more used toContinue reading “Blood!”
Two blueberries!
We are seven weeks pregnant today and our babies should be the size of a blueberry. It’s a strange concept because we are in fact seven weeks but how do we know that they are still growing? The anxiety is horrendous. It’s all well and good for people to remind us to relax and notContinue reading “Two blueberries!”
A moment in my head
It has to be a moment in my head as too much longer you would all want to abandon ship especially during the two week wait. We have all probably thought at some point that we are glad that no one can see into our head as thoughts run wild so I’m going to beContinue reading “A moment in my head”
In his head
I have asked Neil to write something for this blog so I could show a mans perspective around pregnancy loss, IVF and trying to conceive. However he is not very forthcoming with the goods! Believe it or not he is actually very good at expressing his feeling when he puts pen to paper. He wroteContinue reading “In his head”
Transfer
I often wonder if I should share as much as I have done online for anyone to access. I worry that my life is readily available for anyone to read about. Then I remind myself that it is only a part of my life I am sharing and the reason I do is to helpContinue reading “Transfer”
Bruised
It’s the day before transfer and somehow we have made it this far. My belly is bruised, my anxiety has been through the roof and my need to be supported has not gone to plan. I keep telling myself that Neil and I have no control over what is going to happen but the truthContinue reading “Bruised”
Doubts
I asked Neil to stop the medication and injections the morning after the two year anniversary of delivering Kora and Ava. We hadn’t dealt with the anniversary well and our emotions got the better of us. We had put so much in place to try and have a “nice” time over the anniversary not justContinue reading “Doubts”
No Sex
Ironic isn’t it! We are trying again for babies/baby and we are told at certain points through IVF treatment not to have sex. When you are trying to conceive naturally for some it’s all about base line temperatures, ovulation dates and tests and of course regular sex. Neil and I, although aware of when IContinue reading “No Sex”
Human
Grieving whilst on hormone drugs and planning for the future is very difficult and conflicting. Yesterday (9th August) was two years since Neil and I went for another scan and were told that Kora and Ava had no heartbeats. Since then we have lost many more babies and this seems to have added to myContinue reading “Human”
Stars in the Sky 