I’m not sure if my fears and anxieties are similar to any other parent or if they are more extreme from our loses before Layla and Kayden. I remember when they were first born and we brought them home the health visitor completed a questionnaire around anxiety and I was off the scale. She recommendedContinue reading “Fear”
Tag Archives: unbearable
Time heals all wounds
Wednesday it is five years to the day that we were told your heart beats had stopped! I can’t quite believe it’s been five years! Sometimes it feels as raw today as it did that day and other days my mind doesn’t recall so much. I always I remember that Neil and I had attendedContinue reading “Time heals all wounds”
Spring in my step
Spring had always been about new beginnings. Daffodils and bluebells starting to show up, little lambs springing in the fields. Spring has always been one of my most favourite times of the year. It resonates so much hope and new beginnings. Kora and Ava gave me another reason to be hopeful. We couldn’t believe theContinue reading “Spring in my step”
Quiet Days
Life can sometimes be so very busy with Layla and Kayden. Often I’m caught up in my own thoughts wondering whether I am doing a good job as mum. As they grow and develop everyday brings new challenges and most days feel like a blur or whirlwind of mayhem with our two little active hurricanes!Continue reading “Quiet Days”
Comparison
Sometimes I feel like a lost child who still needs her mum and dad. I’m not sure if these feelings are valid and acceptable as an adult and a parent myself. I’m not sure if it is because it’s approaching my own mums birthday and the milestone of seventy years old. It seems so unrealContinue reading “Comparison”
Death Certificate
Another blogger that writes about baby loss awareness that I follow, posted about the fact that her babies death certificate shouldn’t be something she owns. I absolutely understand that this is definitely not the paperwork any parent would wish to own especially the process of going to a registry office to have it completed whilstContinue reading “Death Certificate”
3 Years Old
I can’t quite believe that I am sat here typing this on what would have been your third birthdays. I’m not sure how those three years have passed. I know that because of you both, you made me stronger and showed me a love I never understood before you. In those three years I startedContinue reading “3 Years Old”
Mixed emotions
Someone I know has recently had MCMA identical twin girls. I am genuinely happy for her and her partner for getting through the whole pregnancy and bringing home their bundle of joys. It became apparent that the hospital’s protocol and procedures has changed around MCMA twins (shortly after our pregnancy) and her treatment was differentContinue reading “Mixed emotions”
Grandma
I know lots of people struggle around this time of year for one thing or another and particularly as the nights draw darker and colder. I use to love this time of year and found joy in wrapping up warm and cozy fires. If I’m honest a part of me still does. I refuse toContinue reading “Grandma”
DNA
A friend visited our home the other day and whilst looking at Kayden she said how much he looked like Neil and asked jokingly if there was any of my DNA in him. She then went onto say that I just housed him for 9 months. Firstly I would like to state that this friendContinue reading “DNA”
Stars in the Sky 