I’m not sure if my fears and anxieties are similar to any other parent or if they are more extreme from our loses before Layla and Kayden. I remember when they were first born and we brought them home the health visitor completed a questionnaire around anxiety and I was off the scale. She recommendedContinue reading “Fear”
Tag Archives: zerotohero
The little things!
Lately after some family disagreements I have started to review and analyse what is important and why! We are very blessed as a family. We both work very hard and this enables us to take our family on many holidays. It has always been important to me to give my family the experiences that IContinue reading “The little things!”
Dates!
Neil is useless at remembering dates! He has always been useless at remembering and it’s something I struggle with as I don’t think it’s an excuse to NOT remember those really important anniversaries. However, it is something I’m learning to accept. It’s a tough thing to come to terms with as my mind battles withContinue reading “Dates!”
No one pushes my buttons like her…
I haven’t written for a while and it’s not because I am in a blissful bubble of parenting but quite the opposite. I don’t know whether losing babies makes your guilt worse when you have been fortunate enough to eventually bring home what you always wanted. I sometimes wonder if I am even tougher onContinue reading “No one pushes my buttons like her…”
Mother’s Day 🩵
I can’t quite believe how quickly it comes around! A day I find so difficult yet so honoured to mark. I feel heartbroken that I can’t celebrate this day with my own mother even nearly 10 years on. Nearly 10 years of grief! Time most definitely hasn’t healed but it has numbed the rawness andContinue reading “Mother’s Day 🩵”
Imposter
Being a mum brings so many challenges that I never anticipated. I have not had a problem with being selfless and giving everything to my family but I do constantly struggle with my worth and value. I have always struggled with this for many years in all areas whether it’s personal or professional. I trainedContinue reading “Imposter”
Merry & Bright
There are always times of the year that are harder than others. Christmas is one of those times. It’s impacted by the fact it’s the due date of Kora and Ava (20th December). It’s such a magical time of year but along with bringing joy it can bring so much sadness too! It’s hard toContinue reading “Merry & Bright”
Crawling under the duvet
One day last week I had been awake with the twins for about an hour before it was all too much and I literally removed myself by going upstairs and crawling under the duvet. Just before this I had failed miserably as a good mum and had screamed at the twins whilst stating I wantedContinue reading “Crawling under the duvet”
Time heals all wounds
Wednesday it is five years to the day that we were told your heart beats had stopped! I can’t quite believe it’s been five years! Sometimes it feels as raw today as it did that day and other days my mind doesn’t recall so much. I always I remember that Neil and I had attendedContinue reading “Time heals all wounds”
We waited so long!
The journey Neil and I endured before we got to bring you home was heartbreaking, grief stricken and at times to devastating for words! Layla & Kayden were our 5th pregnancy! They were the ones we got to bring home and finally proudly being able to put up that photo of their dadda holding themContinue reading “We waited so long!”
Stars in the Sky 