Fear

I’m not sure if my fears and anxieties are similar to any other parent or if they are more extreme from our loses before Layla and Kayden. I remember when they were first born and we brought them home the health visitor completed a questionnaire around anxiety and I was off the scale. She recommendedContinue reading “Fear”

Spring in my step

Spring had always been about new beginnings. Daffodils and bluebells starting to show up, little lambs springing in the fields. Spring has always been one of my most favourite times of the year. It resonates so much hope and new beginnings. Kora and Ava gave me another reason to be hopeful. We couldn’t believe theContinue reading “Spring in my step”

What might have been…

Most of you know what Neil and I went through to bring Layla and Kayden home. You are aware of our losses, miscarriages and IVF. What you might not be too aware of is the anxiety I have suffered with after giving birth. Like most new parents I had the anxiety of keeping the babiesContinue reading “What might have been…”

Mothering Sunday

It’s that time of year again when Mother’s Day is fast approaching! A day that I have often found challenging for one reason or another. When my own mum passed away it was a day I struggled with because my love for her never died but the joy of celebrating that day did! I wasContinue reading “Mothering Sunday”

Overwhelming Emotions

After our first Christmas when we enter the dark days and nights of January and life becomes a little less hectic, there is time to reflect. Christmas didn’t go as I had imagined in my head and wasn’t as special as I had anticipated due to numerous reasons. However there were still some magical momentsContinue reading “Overwhelming Emotions”

DNA

A friend visited our home the other day and whilst looking at Kayden she said how much he looked like Neil and asked jokingly if there was any of my DNA in him. She then went onto say that I just housed him for 9 months. Firstly I would like to state that this friendContinue reading “DNA”

Tears, patience, hope and love

Mummy struggles

The twins were 5 months old yesterday. I can’t quite believe that time has passed already. That’s roughly 152 days! Of which I would say I have absolutely enjoyed and fully appreciated 150 of those days! I think most Mums or Dads would feel guilty for saying that and I am really hard on myselfContinue reading “Mummy struggles”

Reflection

I have always believed vanity to mean a person that has an excessive pride or admiration of their own appearance or achievements. According to the above definition I wouldn’t consider myself a vain person but I know that I care about my appearance. I will take time to plan an outfit. I obsessively buy clothesContinue reading “Reflection”

Abstract

I spend the majority of my time with the twins even when I’m working they are at home with me. I believe in the 18 weeks of their lives I have had less than 50 hours away from them. Some of the reason for this is because I put pressure on myself to be theContinue reading “Abstract”