I’m not sure if my fears and anxieties are similar to any other parent or if they are more extreme from our loses before Layla and Kayden. I remember when they were first born and we brought them home the health visitor completed a questionnaire around anxiety and I was off the scale. She recommendedContinue reading “Fear”
Tag Archives: doubt
Imposter
Being a mum brings so many challenges that I never anticipated. I have not had a problem with being selfless and giving everything to my family but I do constantly struggle with my worth and value. I have always struggled with this for many years in all areas whether it’s personal or professional. I trainedContinue reading “Imposter”
Crawling under the duvet
One day last week I had been awake with the twins for about an hour before it was all too much and I literally removed myself by going upstairs and crawling under the duvet. Just before this I had failed miserably as a good mum and had screamed at the twins whilst stating I wantedContinue reading “Crawling under the duvet”
What might have been…
Most of you know what Neil and I went through to bring Layla and Kayden home. You are aware of our losses, miscarriages and IVF. What you might not be too aware of is the anxiety I have suffered with after giving birth. Like most new parents I had the anxiety of keeping the babiesContinue reading “What might have been…”
Comparison
Sometimes I feel like a lost child who still needs her mum and dad. I’m not sure if these feelings are valid and acceptable as an adult and a parent myself. I’m not sure if it is because it’s approaching my own mums birthday and the milestone of seventy years old. It seems so unrealContinue reading “Comparison”
Are they good babies?
It’s another question that I have been asked on so many occasions since bringing the twins home. Are they good babies? I am assuming the person asking is referring to how the babies are sleeping, whether they cry much or fuss about everything. Basically are they easy babies? I have never felt comfortable with thisContinue reading “Are they good babies?”
Tears, patience, hope and love
Mummy struggles
The twins were 5 months old yesterday. I can’t quite believe that time has passed already. That’s roughly 152 days! Of which I would say I have absolutely enjoyed and fully appreciated 150 of those days! I think most Mums or Dads would feel guilty for saying that and I am really hard on myselfContinue reading “Mummy struggles”
Reflection
I have always believed vanity to mean a person that has an excessive pride or admiration of their own appearance or achievements. According to the above definition I wouldn’t consider myself a vain person but I know that I care about my appearance. I will take time to plan an outfit. I obsessively buy clothesContinue reading “Reflection”
Abstract
I spend the majority of my time with the twins even when I’m working they are at home with me. I believe in the 18 weeks of their lives I have had less than 50 hours away from them. Some of the reason for this is because I put pressure on myself to be theContinue reading “Abstract”
Stars in the Sky 