One day last week I had been awake with the twins for about an hour before it was all too much and I literally removed myself by going upstairs and crawling under the duvet. Just before this I had failed miserably as a good mum and had screamed at the twins whilst stating I wantedContinue reading “Crawling under the duvet”
Tag Archives: guilt
Time heals all wounds
Wednesday it is five years to the day that we were told your heart beats had stopped! I can’t quite believe it’s been five years! Sometimes it feels as raw today as it did that day and other days my mind doesn’t recall so much. I always I remember that Neil and I had attendedContinue reading “Time heals all wounds”
What might have been…
Most of you know what Neil and I went through to bring Layla and Kayden home. You are aware of our losses, miscarriages and IVF. What you might not be too aware of is the anxiety I have suffered with after giving birth. Like most new parents I had the anxiety of keeping the babiesContinue reading “What might have been…”
Comparison
Sometimes I feel like a lost child who still needs her mum and dad. I’m not sure if these feelings are valid and acceptable as an adult and a parent myself. I’m not sure if it is because it’s approaching my own mums birthday and the milestone of seventy years old. It seems so unrealContinue reading “Comparison”
Are they good babies?
It’s another question that I have been asked on so many occasions since bringing the twins home. Are they good babies? I am assuming the person asking is referring to how the babies are sleeping, whether they cry much or fuss about everything. Basically are they easy babies? I have never felt comfortable with thisContinue reading “Are they good babies?”
Overwhelming Emotions
After our first Christmas when we enter the dark days and nights of January and life becomes a little less hectic, there is time to reflect. Christmas didn’t go as I had imagined in my head and wasn’t as special as I had anticipated due to numerous reasons. However there were still some magical momentsContinue reading “Overwhelming Emotions”
3 Years Old
I can’t quite believe that I am sat here typing this on what would have been your third birthdays. I’m not sure how those three years have passed. I know that because of you both, you made me stronger and showed me a love I never understood before you. In those three years I startedContinue reading “3 Years Old”
Mixed emotions
Someone I know has recently had MCMA identical twin girls. I am genuinely happy for her and her partner for getting through the whole pregnancy and bringing home their bundle of joys. It became apparent that the hospital’s protocol and procedures has changed around MCMA twins (shortly after our pregnancy) and her treatment was differentContinue reading “Mixed emotions”
No need to try again!
I have often written about throw away comments made by not only friends and family but also strangers. Often these comments are human nature in our need to communicate with each other. They are said with no thought and are a comment meant with no harm. Interestingly when I walk around with the twins inContinue reading “No need to try again!”
Stars in the Sky 