I’m not sure if my fears and anxieties are similar to any other parent or if they are more extreme from our loses before Layla and Kayden. I remember when they were first born and we brought them home the health visitor completed a questionnaire around anxiety and I was off the scale. She recommendedContinue reading “Fear”
Tag Archives: pregnancy loss
Dates!
Neil is useless at remembering dates! He has always been useless at remembering and it’s something I struggle with as I don’t think it’s an excuse to NOT remember those really important anniversaries. However, it is something I’m learning to accept. It’s a tough thing to come to terms with as my mind battles withContinue reading “Dates!”
No one pushes my buttons like her…
I haven’t written for a while and it’s not because I am in a blissful bubble of parenting but quite the opposite. I don’t know whether losing babies makes your guilt worse when you have been fortunate enough to eventually bring home what you always wanted. I sometimes wonder if I am even tougher onContinue reading “No one pushes my buttons like her…”
Mother’s Day 🩵
I can’t quite believe how quickly it comes around! A day I find so difficult yet so honoured to mark. I feel heartbroken that I can’t celebrate this day with my own mother even nearly 10 years on. Nearly 10 years of grief! Time most definitely hasn’t healed but it has numbed the rawness andContinue reading “Mother’s Day 🩵”
Crawling under the duvet
One day last week I had been awake with the twins for about an hour before it was all too much and I literally removed myself by going upstairs and crawling under the duvet. Just before this I had failed miserably as a good mum and had screamed at the twins whilst stating I wantedContinue reading “Crawling under the duvet”
Time heals all wounds
Wednesday it is five years to the day that we were told your heart beats had stopped! I can’t quite believe it’s been five years! Sometimes it feels as raw today as it did that day and other days my mind doesn’t recall so much. I always I remember that Neil and I had attendedContinue reading “Time heals all wounds”
We waited so long!
The journey Neil and I endured before we got to bring you home was heartbreaking, grief stricken and at times to devastating for words! Layla & Kayden were our 5th pregnancy! They were the ones we got to bring home and finally proudly being able to put up that photo of their dadda holding themContinue reading “We waited so long!”
Spring in my step
Spring had always been about new beginnings. Daffodils and bluebells starting to show up, little lambs springing in the fields. Spring has always been one of my most favourite times of the year. It resonates so much hope and new beginnings. Kora and Ava gave me another reason to be hopeful. We couldn’t believe theContinue reading “Spring in my step”
What might have been…
Most of you know what Neil and I went through to bring Layla and Kayden home. You are aware of our losses, miscarriages and IVF. What you might not be too aware of is the anxiety I have suffered with after giving birth. Like most new parents I had the anxiety of keeping the babiesContinue reading “What might have been…”
Mothering Sunday
It’s that time of year again when Mother’s Day is fast approaching! A day that I have often found challenging for one reason or another. When my own mum passed away it was a day I struggled with because my love for her never died but the joy of celebrating that day did! I wasContinue reading “Mothering Sunday”
Stars in the Sky 